ON WRITING

The writing process creates a mixture of feelings: excitement, pain, satisfaction, frustration and so on. It has the power to reveal what the lips cannot do. It’s liberating, but also daunting. When you start working on a project, an energy seems to push you to sit in front of the computer and to open a Word document and then you forget about everything else; and you just write, your hands move on the keyboard as if they were composer’s hands on a piano. Words follow one another creating a beautiful melody to your ears. You unlock your unconscious mind and allow the words to flow freely hoping that they will continue to do so to the end of your project, but there is also your conscious mind that at some point emerges kicking out its counterpart. It’s the one that tells you, “This is all bullshit, it’s a mess, it doesn’t work, don’t you see? What are you doing? Who would care to read this stuff?”

You try to shut up it and keep going with your writing, continuing to compose the melody that was taking shape, but this voice grows louder and louder until it’s you who stops. The melody stops.

You think that everything you have done sucks. The same energy that has pushed you to sit and write, now pushes you away; after all, there is something else more important that you have to do.

However, you cannot do other things freely, especially if at some point you have to submit your project; it doesn’t matter if it is for a publisher or for school. Your mind remains on that project; the same project that seemed glorious at the beginning, now has turned into a nightmare. If three months seemed plenty of time when you started, now you realize that they have already gone while your project is still a long way from the end.

You feel alone, the only one to live in such a frustrating conditions. Nobody can understand you, right?

No, it’s not.

Those who write can understand you perfectly, because it’s the same feeling they go through. But you don’t know it, until you finally talk to someone more expert than you, who will reassure and encourage you. “That’s a normal process of writing. You need to keep going on writing and leave aside your concerns; don’t let them curb you. After all, writing is rewriting and rewriting; for now, free your unconscious mind and write. You’ll come back later to the form.”

Suddenly you feel better, don’t you? So if you stuck on your writing, talk about it. You will discover that not just writing, but also talking is liberating sometimes; perhaps you’ll come back to your seat and even though not immediately, the words will flow again, page after page.